Living together and dealing with bad habits.
We treat every action, deliberate or accident, conscious or subconscious as a personal slight. - a sign the other person doesnt care about us.
- its not deliberate, the behaviours such as leaving dirty socks around or not washing the dishes, is most of the time mindless behaviour, automatic behaviour that are habitual and self focused without taking the other person into account.
- When we dont get what we want, we interpret it as "You dont love me enough"
"pattern interrupt"? breaking the negative state of mind with with an action that halts the hurtful behaviour instantly.
Monday, December 21, 2009
What kissing means for men and women. Jay dixit (edited by me) - psychology today
What kissing means for men and women.
Romantic love has 3 stages. Romance, attachment and sexual arousal. Kissing is to assess genetic compatibility. We determine compatibility largely via scent.
Book Read: Why Him? Why Her? Helen Fisher.
In the guys mind:
- Testosterone in Saliva - and stimulation of lips & tongues trigger sex drive.
- Men may unconsciously kiss to assess levels of estrogen in a woman's saliva to determine her stage in the ovulation cycle and her fertility.
- Men are more likely to initiate kissing, since their senses of taste and smell are less acute, to gather enough information to assess compatibility.
- Lips are natures mood ring, they are darker when a person is aroused, signalling receptivity.
- Men are more attracted to large lips, which signals arousal and openess. (I still dont like Angelina Jolie!)
In a girls mind:
- Kissing drives up oxytocin, which promotes attachment and bonding.
- The novelty of kissing someone new, may release dopamine which fosters romantic love.
- Women kiss to assess the health of the relationship.
- Women prefer demure, closed-mouth kisses, since their senses of taste and smell are more acute, they dont need alot to assess compatibility.
- Women prefer medium sized lips. As it conveys compassion and friendliness.
- Women believe kissing is not a good way to reconcile after a fight.
Romantic love has 3 stages. Romance, attachment and sexual arousal. Kissing is to assess genetic compatibility. We determine compatibility largely via scent.
Book Read: Why Him? Why Her? Helen Fisher.
In the guys mind:
- Testosterone in Saliva - and stimulation of lips & tongues trigger sex drive.
- Men may unconsciously kiss to assess levels of estrogen in a woman's saliva to determine her stage in the ovulation cycle and her fertility.
- Men are more likely to initiate kissing, since their senses of taste and smell are less acute, to gather enough information to assess compatibility.
- Lips are natures mood ring, they are darker when a person is aroused, signalling receptivity.
- Men are more attracted to large lips, which signals arousal and openess. (I still dont like Angelina Jolie!)
In a girls mind:
- Kissing drives up oxytocin, which promotes attachment and bonding.
- The novelty of kissing someone new, may release dopamine which fosters romantic love.
- Women kiss to assess the health of the relationship.
- Women prefer demure, closed-mouth kisses, since their senses of taste and smell are more acute, they dont need alot to assess compatibility.
- Women prefer medium sized lips. As it conveys compassion and friendliness.
- Women believe kissing is not a good way to reconcile after a fight.
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